Fine By Me

Have you ever received an involuntary donation form from our friends at the Auckland City Council?

They are usually found most conspicuously placed underneath your front windscreen wiper blade, neatly folded like a gift waiting to be opened. Only difference being that if you don't like it, you can't re-gift it to your Nana next Christmas.

We've all felt the sting of the parking ticket, and no matter how in the wrong you are (i.e. parking in a loading zone), you can't help but feel victimised.

In my early years as an Auckland City parker I was convinced that the parking wardens would hide in the bushes with stopwatches, eagerly waiting for my time to expire. I could see them (in my imagination) bounding across the road, with a crazed maniacal expression, madly punching numbers into their PDAs and triumphantly smirking as they heard the sound of my windscreen wiper slapping back against the glass.

I soon worked this out - if its possible to get a parking ticket (i.e. your time has expired by even as much as a minute), then you most likely will.

I collected over 20 donation forms in my first year of city employment, coming to a crescendo on that fateful day that I got multi-owned. I'm talking more than one in the space of 2 hours.

The first was like a punch to the guts, painful but tolerable. But the second was like a kick to the jewels of India.

Who could I trust now? I looked around, but couldn't see any wardens. I checked the bush, but there was no sign of them, or their stopwatches. Maybe they were undercover? Disguised as lampposts or something...

Either way, I've written about as many letters to the Auckland City Council as I have received tickets. In fact I think I've developed a mild case of RSI because of it.

While the outcome may not be certain, one thing definitely is - It'll take about 10 years before you get a reply. They draw out the process, like some form of mental torture, trying to break your spirit, until you think "oh what the heck, I'll just pay it".

BUT NOT SO! I always wait, because I know how to play the game. I've now avoided close to $500 worth of (possibly) unjustified infringements.

It's a jungle out there folks, but if you get tangled don't give in.